Yesterday was a rough day for me. The night before I got swallowed by a trauma vortex I had been telling myself I was healed from. Then I sat down to write about it for this blog and was met by a massive protective wall. I spent the day tender and unable to concentrate. I felt bad, but couldn't land on what I needed or wanted. Everything I could possibly do felt like work. That is not a new feeling. I've devoted myself to self-improvement my whole life, and that terrain has become my passion and deepest interest -- depth psychology, self-healing, nature-connection and belonging, even sex and pleasure... Sometimes it is hard to find anything in my life that feels like pure leisure, pure pleasure, no agenda.
So it feels right to turn more toward that today and to offer something less serious, more playful. I've been thinking about this for some time. That I've yet to do it is probably a reflection of that same complex -- since it is for fun, it has less clout in my system than more "productive" endeavors. Yet I still sense its possibility to shift my life, to open me up in a way I adore and need, hopefully without the consequences.
I love being tipsy. Alcohol seems to soften my system. I care less about what other people think and worry less about regulating them. I am freer to just be myself. I'm more talkative and more dynamic, more bold in my words and movements. I feel permission to embody an authentic yet performative version of me. I like this version of me very much. It feels good. My body is electric and tingly, my mind buzzing.
And as a highly sensitive person, I really feel the consequences of drinking. With even one drink, my heart rate doesn't lower while I sleep, and the next day I feel sluggish and struggle to stay present. At the end of the day, it doesn't feel worth it.
But what if I could access tipsy feelings without the booze? I've heard of hypnosis-induced orgasm, so why not hypnosis-induced drunkenness? I'm sure they do it in Vegas. I created this session to see! If you are truly interested in replacing drinking with its anchored experience, I'd listen to this session everyday for at least a week. Probably a good idea to listen right before you go out. Then just listen to it every once in a while, so the anchor holds strong. Cheers!